‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house
All the assets were transferred to the name of the spouse
Investments were made in the markets with care,
In hopes that capital growth would come there;
The accountants were nestled all snug in their beds;
While visions of balance sheets danced in their heads;
The client with his feet up, can smile & relax,
Safe in the knowledge that he manages his tax.
When what to our wondering eyes should appear,
But a balding accountant – a finance engineer!
In the cold he had cheeks like an arse freshly smacked,
I knew in a moment it must be React
More rapid than eagles his suggestions they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called clients by name:
“Sole traders! And Partners! Directors get Mixin’!
Wise-up, don’t be stupid! It’s your numbers we’re Fixin!
His eyes—how they twinkled! his dimples, how merry!
He was clearly already half-cut from the sherry!
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head
Soon gave me to know we had nothing to dread;
He spoke in plain English and went straight to his work,
Making the most of tax allowable perks,
And laying his finger aside of his nose,
He relieved the client of all of his woes;
He sprang to his liveried car with a leap,
And drove away home to his bed to count sheep.
But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight—
“Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good night!”